Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
