what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
