mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
