Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
