I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
do herpes really smell.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
