so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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