well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
