Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
