New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
