If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
