he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
