did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
