yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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