I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
