I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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