Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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