Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
