My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
