They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
