it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
