Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
