i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
