I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
