Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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