if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize