She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
