Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
