i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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