I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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