I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize