it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
