everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
