fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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