one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
