My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
