Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
