hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
