just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
