Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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