The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
