He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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