I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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