i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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