Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
