i just wanna soil my oats bro
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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