If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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