i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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