it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
