I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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