Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
