I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
