We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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