Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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