You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
