Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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