To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
