The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
