She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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