you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize