My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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